Although I knew the day would come (and exactly which day at that) when Jeremy would return to work full-time, I didn't prepare for it is much as I should have! While gymnastics has always been a favorite sport of mine, I have new priorities (like getting enough sleep) that should have taken precedence last night. But, it was the Women's All-Around and I couldn't resist.I awoke this morning to the sound of the shower and sighed to myself. This is it. Today is the day I will officially be a stay-at-home Mommy. As I regretted Jeremy beating me to packing his lunch I wondered if I would really be any good at this whole new parent thing on my own. The team approach has been such a blessing and frankly I have been a little spoiled. Well, ok . . . very spoiled. In fact, last night was the first time that I resisted waking Jeremy to assist me in some way. Ben woke up with his usual hunger cry and we spent that sweet hour together just the two of us. Feeding, changing, singing and holding back to sleep. Until last night when Ben wasted no time closing his eyes for his proud Mama, I had been convinced that my husband was the only Baby Whisperer in our house.
On very little sleep and full of emotion about the tasks ahead, I kissed Jeremy goodbye as he headed back out into the real world. After he left I was honestly in a daze. There was not a whole lot to be done around the house and Ben had just fallen back asleep, but somehow I wasted precious time staring around me wondering where I should begin and what I should do. Oh yeah! Sleep, of course. So I joined Ben in our room for a long nap.
I think Ben knew that it would be a hard day for me and so he has been extra wonderful today - very little fussing until after the most recent feeding. At that point he became difficult to console and all too soon after my head started pounding from both his crying and thoughts of wishing that Shawn Johnson had won the gold instead of her teammate : ) But feeding didn't lull him to sleep and playtime/wake time didn't do the trick either. No, hidden in this cry was the message, "Daddy, come home!!! Enough math for one day!"
Together we anxiously await Jeremy's return, but I hope that in the meantime I can look in little Ben's eyes and know this: even though the day wasn't perfect, in his mind I had still earned the gold. That is, the gold star for successfully mothering him for the first day on our own.
2 comments:
Go Mama Erin! I too and dreading the day that all my help goes back home and I am here alone. It has been hard enough having Stephen back at work this week. How will I get the two of them latched,fed, burped, changed etc. on my own?! I sure we will click into a rythm but it was nice to hear that it can be done :)
I am really proud of you, Erin! It can be very scary being alone for the first time. Also, remember that you have hormones still shedding from your system like crazy. You won't be like your true self for a few months. Smart lady for taking a nap when you had the chance! Maybe a walk around a lake or something in the stroller could be a good morning activity that can help both you and Ben. He will be soaking up information like a sponge long before he can tell you with his mouth. Enjoy the captive audience while you have it! :) Lori Crowe
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